he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
