I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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