he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
