she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
