There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
