i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
