College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
