Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
