Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
