How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
