And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
