I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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