my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
