You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
