Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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