yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
