Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
