Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sext me about skeletons
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize