no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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