Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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