I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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