dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
