He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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