i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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