Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
