people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
