Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
