eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
