I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I smell like Dick and happiness
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
