I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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