Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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