You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
