Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i think i have two assholes
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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