I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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