Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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