he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
