so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
