i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
