we have officially lost it.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
