It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
