So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
