Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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