Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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