What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
