Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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