Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
