I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
