just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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