I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
