I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
