You're my little dorito
I've blown a few things in my day
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So. Much. Porn.
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