I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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