were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
