He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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